You Are Not Perfect and That’s Fine.

Stop believing that you have to be perfect

Everyone has someone in their life who keeps them grounded. That person for me is my mother. Her advice often stings and is as hard to swallow as hot rocks- but I wouldn’t be where I am today if I didn’t learn how to hold my tongue and swallow hard. She knows exactly what to say to crash-land my ego as soon as it takes flight. At the same time, she reminds me to pursue my goals vigorously without getting carried away by them. What my mom knows is that the real measure of man comes from tackling the tough stuff such as humility and our proclivities. I know she means well, but I can’t say that every single conversation ends on a high note.

Why is it that whenever we are asked about our weaknesses we get into fight or flight mode as if we don’t all have something we struggle with? The truth is we can’t fix what we won’t face and our little foibles might very well be the reason we are “career stuck”. There’s a kind of beauty in imperfection that we all need to embrace. In the same way some great pieces of music require dissonance to achieve the perfect sound or how a smidgen of yeast gives bread its leavening and freshness – there’s imperfection in everything seemingly perfect. Perhaps if we see our weaknesses as paths to self-awareness and character development, we could positively harness them for great things.

Lately, I have tried to put a twist on the dreaded interview question, “What are your weaknesses?” If you’ve ever been involved in any interview process then you know that almost no one ever answers this question honestly. Instead, what you hear are perfectly good qualities cloaked to sound like things to shun. “I am a perfectionist” takes the number one spot; followed closely by “I ‘m a people pleaser”. Certainly, those are things you may struggle with, but what about your penchant for hoarding your knowledge from the new member of the team or your habit of taking all the credit for the team’s work. Those are some of the things we are picking at when we ask the weakness question, but who is going to admit that anyway?

So, to make candidates feel reassured that I am not wired and trying to get a confession out of them, I put the question another way, “What are your areas for improvement?” Problem solved…mostly.

When we talk about weaknesses in interviews, we usually just want to tap into your areas for improvement – habits, knowledge, and skills that can help you to thrive and be productive in the workplace. So, rest assured that the heavy stuff can stay in the bag – those will surface on your background checks or from your having a little too much booze at the office party later on. You are not perfect and that’s fine. Employers want to hire people who are comfortable admitting their weaknesses and who have already taken the steps toward improving those behaviors or skills.

So feel free to talk about your weaknesses but always include steps you are taking to fix them.

Here are a few of my weaknesses and the things I am doing to fix them:

I’m not always a good listener. I listen to respond or my mind tends to wander off. Recently, I started practicing a few mindfulness techniques that have been helpful in keeping my mind focused in the present and on the speaker.

I talk too much sometimes. And then there are times when I should speak up and I just don’t say anything at all. I used to think every quiet moment should be filled with the sound of my voice. According to Myers-Briggs, I straddle between introversion and extraversion. I’m either INTP or ENTP depending on my mood that day. Lately, I have been working on being more aware of my lip service and leaving enough air in the room so others can get a word in edgewise.

My time management stinks. I tell myself that I do my best work under pressure. While that may be true, evidence suggests that I lose my cool when a deadline is quickly approaching and my vision doesn’t seem to be coming together as planned. In college, I threw a chair at my computer with the objective to vent, not to damage anything but that had to have been the only day that my throw was right on target. Suffice to say, I missed an entire night’s sleep rewriting the paper on my roommate’s prehistoric word processor. Lesson learned more than a decade later. Adding a daily to-do list to my routine is the best decision I have ever made. As a rule, I don’t include on my list more than I can manage that day.

What are some of your areas for improvement? What are you doing to improve those behaviors or skills?